J + L forever, brother. Forever is an illusion; I don’t think Libby’s waiting for me at the Gates of Heaven. Remember Auntie used to take us to Bible Study every Thursday night? It was the only time she took off that shit-smeared apron. It was hideous to you, yet beautiful to me.
You never saw things as beautiful after that stain was made. You stopped seeking the whole world. I was glad when you went blind because it meant I was truly invisible. I hated how you could SEE me. My mask was less transparent than saran wrap through your eyes. You even tried to peel that back. I fought you and cried many dry tears until one day I decided I wanted you to really see me.
It was the afternoon Mr. Ashley came with us to the grocery store. You didn’t know it at the time but he and Auntie were fucking and he wanted to stay real right with her, so we shopped. Everything was fine until the bell dinged and the doors slid open to welcome Libby in the store. I saw him look at her then ball up his fists. I already knew, but seeing his anger made me itch…
You’ll never forget how my itches… made me; I’ll never let you.
P. S. I only did it because of my asthma.